Ice that Burns
by Serenissime
Summary: What if, after Edward left Bella in New Moon, she hadn't become so lifeless and unmotivated? What if she tried to find a way out of the pain instead of wallowing in it? What if Jacob wasn't so tame in his pursuits? What if the whole of the pack wasn't? And how did Bella get onto that cliff? AU canon pairings mostly, No BxJ, M for drug use, adult themes and citrus HEA
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight.

**I know I have no good excuse to be starting another fic, but the idea of writing the next chapter in my more humorous and slightly inane one made my brain bleed, and I had a burst of inspiration. When Edward left in New Moon, things were way too tame. Shouldn't Bella have tried to find a way to escape from her mind for a little while? That's why I started this. That and I had a mental picture of Edward in the rain running and Bella in a trench rain jacket. Enough said for now...**

**Here's a short EPOV Prologue:**

**EPOV: _At least Six Months after he left__ Bella..._**

My body was numb. I couldn't hear the storm that raged around me, couldn't feel the freezing cold hypothermic chills that it could give any living creature that stayed out too long, and yet, death loomed in front of me just as close. The world ceased to slow down around me as time ran out.

Trees flashed on both sides of me as I ran faster than a speeding bullet through the rainy foliage that surrounded Forks. I had thought only weeks earlier that I would never return here, forever refusing the lure of the dreaded visions in my head; it blew my mind to think I was now passing through the town limits without a second thought.  
My vision seemed to tunnel the closer I got to my destination, almost as if my subconcious mind was widely aware of the only thing that mattered to me.

I passed Forks by in minutes, only slightly acknowledging the danger gained with each step south towards the coast, but during my frantic journey, the universe still held onto its twisted sense of justice; even as the panic encompassed my every sense, there was still room in my mind to regret, to wonder what would have happened had I only listened to Bella.

A movie of memories played back over and over again, accompanied by a soundtrack of the words said; the words that broke me. The words that burned me. I staggered back and forth as the memories came, bringing the words with them; I could just imagine how far from sane I looked, running headlong through the forest. Those words never left. They just kept haunting me.

"You are not good for me Bella." "That changes things." "You don't... want me?" " You know how my kind are. Easily distracted." "Edward!" "It will be as if I never existed." "I don't believe you." "Edward," "Time heals all wounds for your kind..." "Edward. EDWARD!"

Her voice replayed in my ears while her face haunted my mind; then would come along Alice's visions. Alice's many visions. One way or another, Alice saw her going off the cliff. _No. This couldn't be the end._

**I raced forward, running to stop death, and hopefully disprove fate.**

*****I*B***I*B***I*B*****


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**Okay, In this chapter you might understand what I meant earlier about the trench coat. Or you might not. Whatever works.**

**BPOV**

The cold. I never used to like the cold. Or did I? I must have? You can't develop a love of the cold like mine overnight. I took another drag of the "special" joint Leah gave me. _Herbal. As if we all don't know her joints are merely weed mixed with that witchy crap she grows in her garden._

I giggled and smiled, holding my legs to my chest and humming. Angela was probably worried about me. I said I would come by to study.

I shuddered, feeling the icy feeling come over my skin again as the herbal came into effect. Leah Clearwater, a Quileute wise woman? Who would have guessed? Right now I was more thankful she had the knowledge than anything else.

I wondered idly if I would get hypothermia from sitting here too long. The cliff face had a slight overhang, so I couldn't be getting too wet... could I? I sighed, looking back at the churning water below. The wind blew, or maybe it didn't. I couldn't tell anymore. That was the price I paid.

The despair washed back, and I screamed in frustration, scrambling to my feet and throwing my joint into the ocean. I would not think of him. I didn't want to! If I tried to block him out, I would just think about-

***I*B***

**EPOV**

I skidded to a stop as I saw her. Water got into my eyes and I shook my head to rid them of the obstruction. My breaths came out in gasps, my chest seeming to be hurting despite my lack of need for a pulse.

She stood there at the edge of the cliff. When I heard her scream, I had thought- But what was going on then? Why was she here? "Bella."

Thunder rumbled and lightning cracked as I breathed out her name- reverently, for all the events of the past couple months had flown out the window when I set eyes on _her._ I took a slow step forward, not wanting to believe it. Bella, Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff yet, and I still had a chance. A chance to get her away from the edge that is.

She laughed hoarsely and sighed. I tensed, worried she might be getting ready to jump. But that wasn't what she was getting ready to do at all. My jaw hung open as she dropped her long raincoat to the ground behind her.

She was completely naked.

She **was** completely naked.

I was seeing Bella naked.

Why was I seeing Bella naked? She was usually so shy around me... Goodness, she looked amazing, and that was just seeing her from behind... Why is she naked? Especially outside, where anyone could- Oh. _Oh!_

__Finally remembering where we were, the fact that Bella didn't know I was here, the circumstances that brought me here, I reacted. Not exactly in the best possible way.

***I*B***

**I'm really sorry to leave you with a cliffie! I just really wanted to get this part up. In the next chapter we get into Bella's hallucinations and how they differ from in the actual books. It****'s kind of interesting and twisted. I've been dying to do an Edward who was frozen at the sight of Bella naked forever. There's just something so funny about the mental image of a 109 year old Edward staring like a moron at Bella's boobs. Keep in mind, in my story, Bella's a little more morbidly messed up than in the books. What she's smoking is some sort of spiritual drug mixed with weed. And it doesn't exist in real life, I made it up. Yeah.**

**Music I used to write this chapter:**

**Together Again _By Evanescence,_ Need You Now _By Lady Antebellum,_ My Best _By Vanessa Carlton,_ and Sympathy _By The Goo Goo Dolls_**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**Okay, the chapter in which we see what Edward does. Comin' right up. **

**BPOV: **_**Right where we left off**_

I shrieked. As I had moved to turn around to bid farewell to the forest, I collided with something cold and rock hard. Something that moved and was humanoid. Someone, someone who smelled wonderful, like sunshine and… Oh!

I giggled, clinging to the shirt of my imaginary Edward. I hadn't ever dared to dream that my hallucinations would ever be so tangible. Imaginaryward was picking something up off the ground next to us. My jacket, of course! My imaginary Edward still cared whether I was cold or not. He was also never letting his eyes leave my face. It was odd.

He was talking to me, but I didn't care. I played with his shirt and ran my hands over his chest, thrilled to have something of Edward so literally in reach. My imaginary Edward held me close, but didn't try to push me away when I pulled us closer together. But his breath did hitch, and he did stop talking.

I usually didn't like it when my phantom Edward talked. He would usually just tell me to go home to Charlie and be safe. I wanted this hallucination to last, and it would, or I would jump. That was what the hallucination seemed to fear I would do, so maybe the fear of me jumping would be enough to make it, no **him**, stay.

He was breathing fast, faster than he usually did, even though he didn't need the air. I laughed again, shaking in mirth and delight against my imaginary Edward. He was perfect- just how I wanted him.

Finally, I looked up into his eyes, saying the first thing that popped into my head.

"What are you staring at?"

*****I*B*****

**EPOV**

Grabbing Bella in her current state was probably not the best idea I had ever had.

No, that's not true. Take away the probably part.

I reached to grab her by the waist to pull her back from the edge just as she turned around to look back at the forest. Not-so-long story short, I ended up pulling a naked Bella into my arms and away from the edge of the cliff, while she was facing me. That was a definite problem. Not that I would have minded, under different circumstances it would have been a dream come true, but it wasn't making it easy to focus on the task at hand.

Especially when Bella, Bella giggled of all things. She giggled and nuzzled her face into my chest, making it very hard to think about the fact that she was naked. Bella was naked, and I was very, um… unfocused? My body couldn't seem to forget that a naked Bella was less than a foot away from certain parts of my anatomy. Don't think about naked Bella!

In a flash, I lunged forward and grabbed Bella's rain jacket off the ground, unsure how to put it on her without disrupting the happy daze she was in. I didn't want to push her away, as she had already been through enough, but the fact that the temperature must be freezing to her vulnerable human self kept me very nervous. I settled for gingerly placing it around her shoulders.

I had my arms around a naked girl. A naked Bella. This is the first time I have been so close to a naked girl, much less a naked Bella. Naked Bella was definitely better.

There were most absolutely two completely different trains of thought going through my head. If I were human, I have no doubt which one would have won over. The one that could not keep its topic even an inch away from Bella being naked. I wished Carlisle had changed me when I was older. Or younger. Seventeen is really a hormonal age…

Bella must be freezing!

"Bella! How on earth are you not blue from hypothermia being out here like this?" I asked, lacking the focus to be properly outraged or realize that this was a serious situation. I should be outraged at Bella's complete lack of regard for her own welfare.

I was very glad that Bella didn't seem to notice how distracted I was about the fact that all I had to do was look down and I could see a pair of breasts for the first time in person.

I said some other things about her lack of regard for her safety, but I could not for the life of me tell anyone what on earth I had been saying. Fortunately for me, Bella didn't seem to be listening. She was too busy playing her fingers over my chest and fiddling with my shirt buttons.

My attention and willpower were at the moment taken up by very few things.

No. 1 on the list was "Attempt not to ogle Bella." For the most part, the other things on the list were very similar, but I had a feeling sinking in my stomach in more ways than one.

Venom or blood, whatever it was, had begun to rush from my head to other places, and it was an abrupt, stronger reaction that came more quickly than it had for as long as I can remember. I had always kept my distance before, but now… Now I had a naked Bella in my arms who was rubbing her face and hands all over my chest.

Needless to say, this was very distracting. Despite what my body was telling me, Bella would most likely NOT consider all things forgiven between us, and we would most likely NOT pick up where we left off. It was very odd that she was acting this way, which gave my less noble half very high hopes and let fantasies inappropriate to the moment run through my mind unbidden.

Without warning, Bella yanked me close to her, so close that my breath hitched in my throat. As much of me as Bella had been able to reach was pressed up against her; My vampire skin made the contours of her body I had never touched before against my skin feel so detailed, her breasts, stomach and hips pressed up against me…

DON'T THINK OF **THAT**, EDWARD. I mentally berated myself, refusing to acknowledge that at this point, resistance was futile. Some spare part of my mind wandered and I could just see the possibilities.

Oh, for the love of all that's holy, why did she have to do this now? I had her safety to think of! We were out in the open! Anyone could see her! With that last thought, I knew I was on the right track to thinking clearly. That last reason was definitely important to my less noble half aswell.

Thunder rumbled as lightning lit the sky, and hundreds of icy raindrops hit us, making the situation all the more intense and exciting to my less human instincts.

I looked down at Bella's head, ONLY at her head, and my breathing sped up. I felt jumpy, and began a torturous fight with myself to stay still. Bella seemed to notice this, and burrowed her head further into my shirt, her giggles making her frame shake and sending thrilling vibrations through my body. My hands trembled with the urge to wander.

Why was Bella acting as though she was glad to see me? I would think she'd be cursing me for treating her badly, not giving her a good enough explanation. Instead, she was treating me as if I was a…a…an I don't know what. A toy? Something to play with? Something told me she probably thought I wasn't really there.

While I attempted to figure the situation out, Bella wrapped her arms around me, searing her body even more firmly to mine. I could feel… everything. I hoped to god she wasn't in a very observant mood. She just had to move forward one step with that leg of hers and she'd know.

I held my breath as she lifted her eyes to meet mine. She scrunched up her nose and a little crease formed in between her eyebrows as she looked up at me.

"What are you staring at?!"

"I'm sorry…" First things first, if I could get out the rest of my apology. My breath had left me at the full on view of Bella's face, and the two weak, rather whispery words were all I had managed to get out. Bella's skin was icy pale from the temperature, her eyes squinted because they had irritated quickly from the rain getting in them, her lips not blue, but not a pinkish color either.

With these observations I was ready to pick Bella up and make a run for it, but then my phone rang. Without a word, I flipped the phone open and held it up to my ear. Alice's voice filled my ears.

"There's a motel nearby, off La Push but not in Forks. The room key is on top of the door frame. Look for room sixteen. I called ahead and asked them to turn on the heater for you. You're welcome. Bye!" Alice clicked off the phone, knowing not to expect a response.

Meanwhile, Bella looked angry. "Are you leaving again? Off to find someone who's more of a distraction?"

When I didn't answer, Bella became indignant and angry.

"If you try to do that, I'll throw myself off the cliff! I don't care if you're imaginary or not! You can't leave me again!"

I responded robotically, following my instinctive reaction to those words, my conscious mind almost completely frozen in fear. She wouldn't. She couldn't. I had no trouble ignoring my hormonal responses now. She would not jump off that cliff. I would make it so she couldn't even if she wanted to.

In her anger, she pushed away from me, but my arms wrapped her closer, closer than she ever was before, the reaction automatic to her threat to jump. I was unresponsive for a moment while Bella beat at my chest ineffectually with her fists, but it only took that moment for me to find my legs again.

After that I lifted her into my arms and bolted.

***I*B***

**A/N: Hi People! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Please don't hesitate to PM me with your suggestions or shower me with reviews. Really, you should give me reviews. Even if you think I should change something, please, review or PM me to let me know. In our next chapter, we are going to find out how Bella reacts to Edward essentially kidnapping her to keep her safe. Let me know if you have any ideas. ANY AT ALL. Seriously, I would love to hear your ideas. I would love to. More than love, actually. I am simply dying to know what you think. Reviews make me write faster. It's a psychological fact!**

**Songs used to write this chapter: Lithium By Evanescence and Bring Me Down by Miranda Lambert.**

**Story Recs:**

**No Ordinary Proposal By twilover76- A much older, possessive Edward, but a happy story with just the right amount of angst.**

**The Force That Drives Him By FictionFreak95- A sweet, hot OS with Edward as Bella's limo driver.**


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